moms like you choose kelvin


ramble bamble


Auntie-ism is characteristic of some females from age 30 to 50 odd. It is a unique blend of many character traits. It stems from Singapore’s obsession with being kiasu, kiasee. With a huge dose of ignorance and myopia.

Auntie S from the office is steadily rising up the ranks of my ‘Top 10 Aunite Hits’. She has the credentials to be auntie. Curly hair. Tick. “Aiyoh”, “Aiyah” before every sentence. Tick. Silly ideas about health. Tick.

Hit single 1.  There was an article about this couple murdering their daughter. “Wah, the girl very pretty, very cute lei.” And she went on to say what a pity it was etc. She lost the plot. The point is not how cute the victim is. I’m not sure if she feels the same for a uglier kid.

Hit single 2.  S made a mess of this medication instruction. 2 tablets, 2 times daily, for 4 days. Many numbers but pretty straight forward. S spent 10 minutes discussing with fellow auntie, J. Amongst some of the ideas that came up was this ingenious one of breaking the tablet into 2. It is no wonder that ever since I started my internship, she is still taking medication.

This single takes the cake. It happened a couple of weeks ago. I used to pack my lunch. It was pasta with tuna for that day. J went “No meat in your meal? As a guy, you can take it?” Fuck. Are vegetarians weaklings then? What about Shaolin monks? They don’t eat meat and yet they have balls of steel.


Filed under: Ramblings

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